Freedom
by MissLillyDarcy
Summary: Spoilers for series three episode three- written after listening to Paloma faiths album, non of the characters are mine sadly I hope you enjoy
1. Chapter 1

_Note: songs are all Palmoa faith first is freedom the next is just be- I couldn't help but think of our two heatbroken_ characters when listening to these two songs, this is amazling longer than I ever thought I could right, I have about four chapters so far I am hoping to finish around chapter 6 but I will see were these two take me. thank you for reading, again I am dyslexic so please excuse the mistakes I have checked best I could and thankyou for reading :)

Freedom

_If you left how could I go on? If you walked away from me baby all the right would turn wrong. I've had too many heartaches for my blistering hands. But know your my calling to the promise land. You're the one who runs through my veins like a hurricane; you lift the hurt I've felt before. You and me could own this earth, ditch the dust and dirt, light up this city with our freedom…._

_(palmoa Faith-Freedom)_

"I can't do this"

Edith stared in shock what had he just said. Her ears wouldn't process what he just said she just stared into his eyes, blue as the sky but instead of happiness in them it was full of sorrow and sadness

"I don't understand" her brain and heart not willing to process his words what was happening just seconds before she had been Happy so terribly terribly happy.

He was speaking but she couldn't hear him, all she could hear the sound of her heart breaking into a thousand tiny pieces, leaned towards her, and his last words penetrated through the fog

"Goodbye my darling, god bless you…always"

Then he was leaving striding down the aisle away from her, , how could he do this, they were meant to be together, he lifted all the hurt she had felt before and stole the dark turned it to stars, now the darkness was returning, her life and heart crumbling before her, before she knew what she was doing she was running, ripping of her veil and letting it float the ground, she hitched her skirts and ran, the cries from her mother, father, grandma fell onto death ears, she stops outside the entrance to the church, both cars were at the front waiting she runs towards them

The drivers are looking baffled having seen Sir Strallan stride past them minutes before and now Lady Edith is running past them her white dress flowing behind her. Not evening stopping when one of the drivers opens the door she keeps going

She runs always back to Downton once back in her room she collapses onto her bed and crys. Crys with anger, with sadness, with heart break, how could he think he is to old, and that she could be happy without him! He is the one that makes her happy, and no way is she going to let that slip through her fingers

She doesn't care what her Papa says or her Grandma they have never cared about her she was the forgotten sister, just plain little Edith, well no more, before the week was out she would be Lady Anthony Strallan even if she had to beat it into him that it's her choice and her choice is him!

She sits down at her writing table and starts writing

_My Dearest Anthony,_

_Your more than likely thought that I would hate you for walking away from me today, but If you remember I said I wasn't going to give up on you and that is still true….._

She stops writing and crumples the piece of paper up and takes out a fresh piece

_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace._

We need to talk 

_Yours always_

_E x _

she takes it down stairs and gets one of the footman to take it over personally for a shilling , she returns to her room climbs into her bed and hopes that tomorrow will be a better day

Anthony is sat in his library drowning in his sadness in sadness he made, but it was for the best, they is a knock at the front door glancing at the clock he wanders who it could be he hears his butler answer the door and awaits hoping its not Lord Grantham coming to call him out, he has no strength to fight he broken.

His butler knocks on the door and he bids him to enter

"letter for you Sir Strallan"

Taking the letter from the butler without saying a word but a slight nod of the head, the butler retreats leaving Anthony alone looking at the writing on the front, he knows who it is from, he opens the letter and reads

Tears come freely while reading her letter she has wrote the start of her favorite poem and wants to talk to him even though he was jilted her at the church in front of friend and family , what has he done to deserve this beautiful young woman who is steady in her Feeling from him, it fills him with love but she must believe he is wrong for her but how can d he fight her when his heart hums with love for her , and when he is near her he wants to protect her, to pull her to him and never let her leave his side, his life is over when she isn't with him, only her makes life worthwhile.

Just how is he to respond folding the letter, placing it in the pocket next to his heart he sits back staring into the flames of the fire, and wonders just how he is going to convince her to give up on him and how is he going let his little bird fly away from him forever?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

After a terrible night's sleep Edith is awake before Dawn she stands at her window watching the sunrise, the fields coming alive in the vivid morning sun, she should have been waking next to him, in his embrace, intesad she stands cold and alone at Downton, shes going to visit him and he will listen to her. She is fed up with everyone thinking they know what's best for her, its time she stands up and gets what she wants.

Anna comes to see if she wants her breakfast in her room and is shocked to see her mistress up and ready to be dressed, after dressing she skips down the stairs not like a woman who only yesterday was jilted at the altar, no she slips down the stairs as a woman with hope and determination.

"Good Morning Papa, Cousin Matthew" she says brightly as she enters breakfast room looing as two sets of shocked eyes stare back at her

"I thought you would be having breakfast in your room today dear" her papa says unsure

"Why I am not married like Mary and Sybil"

Papa coughs " no you're not but under the circumstances"

Edith cuts him off "papa what happened yesterday was a terrible case of cold feet on Sir Strallans part I have written to him asking to speak to him, in my eyes the wedding has just been postponed"

"Edith please don't pursue this Sir Anthony was pretty adamant that this is what he wanted"

"NO" Edith voice raises, she takes a deep breath before carrying on more calmly " no papa I will pursue this as I know he loves me and I love him, and if he would just stop listening to everyone else and listen to me for a change if you ALL would listen to me you would see I don't care about his age, his arm, I care about him"

Edith rises "excuse me I think I will go for a walk while it's still early" and leaves the room quickly leaving as she came in with two sets of shocked eyes watching her.

Carson stops her before she has chance to leave " a letter for you Lady Edith"

Edith takes the letter looking at the writing she quickly thanks Carson and strides to the library were she knows she will have some peace

She opens the letter and reads

_I love thee to the level of everyday's  
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.  
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;  
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. _

_My dearest Edith_

_ You will find love and I wish you happiness, give up on this foolish old cripple_

_Yours forever and never_

_Anthony _

So beautifully sad her heart breaks and tears make tracks down her cheecks, she has to go to him convince him, that he is not foolish, old or a cripple she just hopes he will see her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

_Anthony stirs something is ticking his nose he reaches out and swats it away and slowly opens his eyes drowsy with sleep and the brightness of the morning sun, there next to him is Edith asleep and so beautiful he reaches out and draws his hand through her hair, breathing her in, he pulls her closer to him she fits perfectly they were meant to be together two halves brought together and never to be parted, she stirs and opens one eye a large smile forming on her face_

_"Good morning dearest Husband snuggling closer and pushing her nose into his neck and sighing_

_Grinning like a young boy he replies between kisses_

_"Good morning Dearest darling Wife…."_

Edith stands at the door of Anthony strallans door and take a few large calming breaths before running an hand over her hair and straighten her dress, it's now or never, knocking on the door she waits

His butler answers looking shocked to see who it at the door

"I have come to see Sir Strallan is he at home?"

"Sir Anthony isn't taking visitors my Lady can I pass on a message"

Edith could have guessed he would have given his butler strict orders not to admit anyone instead hiding himself away

"No that's alright I will call back later"

She turns away and when she hears the door close she sneaks around the back to the French doors leading into the conservatory, if Anthony wasn't going to let her in, she was going to have to take into her hands to see him and let herself in!

Tiptoeing through the conservatory she cracks the door a fraction and checks both ways and heads for the Library hoping Sir Anthony is in there she quickly opens the door stepping in and closing the door quietly her heart is beating wildly

_Slowly running his hand down her neck down her side, her legs his lips following the path, she couldn't taste or smell sweeter " you're so beautiful Edith" she murmurs in response lost in his touch,_ _working his way back up her body missing all the parts she wants him to touch the most, he kisses her eyes, nose before kissing her passionately, he runs his good hand down between her breasts before cupping one and moving his lips to her breast causing her to moan and breath his name, he could die now and he couldn't think of a better way to go, a beautiful woman he loves breathing his names, and needing him flicking his tongue over a nipple she arches her back and moans running her hands down his hair and gripping him tighter to her _

Edith takes a second to calm her breathing and looks around the room, there on the chaise lounge fast asleep is Anthony, still in his wedding suit, but the jacket, waistcoat and cravat are gone his sleeves are rolled up and his hair is ruffled, Edith thinks he has never looked so handsome, she tiptoes across and takes a seat across from him and silently studies his features his eyelashes are quiet long laying against his cheeks and he seems so at peace so much so it makes him look younger, he has always been handsome with is light blonde hair just starting to grey around the temples. Her fingers itch to run through his hair to feel it run through them, it is almost painful stopping herself, but she enjoying the peace just watching him.

_"Anthony" she moans into his neck as he slides deep in her folds, she is so wonderfully tight and it takes all his strength to take it slow he wants to take her to the edge of heaven and bringing her there will be pure heaven for him, he starts low deep thrusts causing her to moan out loud chucking her head back exposing her perfect white neck to irresistible he sucks just below the pulse mark, licking and suckling causing her moans to come louder…._

Edith moves closer he is speaking is his sleep

"Edith"

Her hand moves instantly to his cheek she runs her fingers down his whispering of her name making her heart flutter , he sighs contently a small smile working onto his lips, her hand moves up to his hair moving through the unruly locks,

"My darling Anthony" she whispers moving her lips to his cheek"

Anthony is woken from his dream well he thinks he is awaken such a sweet sound he just heard he very much could be still asleep, his eyes flutter open to be welcomed by the sight of a large beautiful pair of brown eyes staring into his own. Certainly he must me dreaming, why would Edith be in his house knelt by his side her hands on his cheek whispering his name if not a dream, not willing to give the dream up yet he reaches out with his good hand and pulls her closer to him, moving his lips to

hers, he can feel her smile against his lips as he deepens the kiss so blissful he never wishes to wake, then she pulls away not fair and very gently in her wonderful gentle voice whispers " Anthony we need to talk"

Anthony is confused why would dream Edith need to talk when he can think of much better things they could be doing, he looks down at their joined hands and there isn't any ring. In his dream she had been his wife, confusion crosses his futures before he realises this isn't a dream, and sat in front of him isn't dream Edith….

Edith looks on worriedly as different emoticons cross Anthony's features first passion, then love, confusion, now sadness

"Anthony are you OK my darling"

"My God Edith I'm so sorry I never meant to take advantages like that please forgive me what a cad, I thought I was dreaming, I mean…. Edith cuts him off mid-sentence

"Don't say Nothing, just sit next to me, don't say nothing shhh Anthony Just be Just be" she places her head on the sofa next to him and takes a few calming breaths passion running through her blood she needs to calm these feelings before she has to fight for what she wants, she's hoping after that kiss they have just shared her case isn't going to take much to win.

Anthony sits, trying to push down the passion he feels he reaches out and strokes her hair, so beautiful but why is she her, knowing she asked him to be quiet he waits for her to start speaking

Looking up at him she begins to place her case

"Let's Grow old together, let's be happy forever, cause there's no one in this world that I'd rather be happy with, let's be exposed and unprotected, let's see one another when were weak, I was born thinking it would all be dreamy, but I know I wouldn't be happy that way, you wear me out with frustration and heartache and anger, but we wait the wave to wash it away. Let me in Anthony please don't say nothing, not about your arm or your age just sit next to me and hold me, tell me we can share this life together please, I can't bare not been with you.

Edith takes a deep breath and looks into his eyes, waiting.

Anthony opens and closes his mouth several times trying to find the right words how can he deny her when she gives such a passionate speech, and he wants the same thing, but can they be truly happy together, won't she just despise him in a few years when he's old and she's more nurse than wife? His heart begs him to take her in the his arms and let the future be tomorrow, but his brain is still giving it a fight, but every excuse he thinks of he knows she will rebuff.

Edith is starting to worry Anthony has been quiet for a full two minutes, she can tell he is fighting with himself trying to make up excuses why they shouldn't be together, reaching across she grips his hand looking up to his face

"Anthony please don't fight this we could be so terribly happy together"

He sighs gripping her hand tighter and begins to speak

"Edith if this is truly what you want go home, I have to go to London for a week on business, think about us and if when I come back this is still what you want we will go see your father and I will beg for forgiveness and hope he will forgive this silly old fool and let him marry his most lovely daughter, do we have a deal?"

Edith sits back its not exactly what she was hoping for she was hoping to have a small wedding as soon as she could sort it, but then at least it wasn't a no!

" you have deal but I can tell you my mind isn't going to change in one week, one month one year but can you do one thing for me if I am to be away from you for a full week?"

"What is it my sweet one" his old pet name slipping from his lips before he realizes he has spoken it

"Kiss me like you did a few minutes ago please" a small blush gracing her cheeks, she lowers her head a fraction looking at their joined hands

Lifting her chin with his good arm, he looks in her eyes before lowering his lips sealing there deal with a kiss, before she can deepen the kiss he pulls away just enough to whisper

"One week"

"One week" she replies


End file.
